Getting Back Into It

Well it's been seven weeks since we had our sweet Ellie Catherine and said goodbye to her all in the same week.  I decided I wanted to get back into blogging because I still want to see the good side of life, I still want to smile and acknowledge all that I am thankful for, and I still want to keep moving forward.  As you have noticed before my blog is pretty much about my most favorite little boy on this planet, Jonah.  I have never been one that likes to journal or really go too deep.  I am just not really a dramatic person or full of great emotion but these past weeks and made me go deep and express myself more that I have ever wanted to.  Everyday is a new challenge as I continue to face fears of seeing moms' with their little girls, pregnant women, families with lots of healthy children running around.  Though I may look like I have it together, there is still a sting deep down and a fresh scab that is still there but getting better everyday.  I have to keep looking at the things that God has blessed me with and know though we have gone through a hardship we have many many things to be thankful for.  And everyday throughout the day I remind myself more than once that though I want my little girl here with me, she is in heaven so beautiful and perfect and that can always make me smile.

We were able to make it to one of the Easter services.  It felt good to worship and most importantly remember why Tim and I have made it this far.  Because our Heavenly Father gave his son to die for our sins because he loves us that much, and his Son rose again so that we may have eternal life.  He is sad when we are sad and carries our brudens with him and we can cry and say all we want to him and he listens and loves us.  One of the songs we sang in church has such amazing lyrics, I bawled through the whole song because I can't get out of my mind how heaven is so much more real to me and because of my precious Ellie I have such a deep deep longing for it now.  It's called Cornerstone, by Hillsong.  Please please click on the link and just listen to the words.  Happy Easter everyone and here are some pictures of a very very special little girl named Ellie Catherine.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izrk-erhDdk

32.5 weeks and counting

Well I thought I should at least put up a couple of pictures of the baby bump.  I need to have some reminder of this little peanut in my belly and see the progress he/she is making.  I have been feeling really good this pregnancy.  Other than my sweet Jonah Bear not sleeping through the night due to the croup I am mainly tired.  I am praying we are through this within a couple of days.  This pregnancy as I posted before has been so different from Jonah's, which is why my hubby is convinced it's a girl!  I really don't know, I don't have a feeling either way.  But the ultrasounds are going well and baby is still growing at a consistent rate.  The stomach is still a little small but the doctors have all been so reassuring.  So here is to 32.5 weeks!!

 Hello Handsome.  Tim was taking the pictures and then I snapped one of him! Too cute

Sweet baby

Yesterday I had to go for another ultra sound to make sure the baby is growing and back on track.  At our 20 week ultrasound the baby was measuring small so they got concerned  did a huge work-up, and everything came back normal, Praise the Lord.  I was all settled in and enjoying the cute little kicks, lots of swallowing, and and a very snug baby inside.  It was all curled up with both hands covering it's face and wouldn't cooperate to get a good 3D view, but eventually we got some good shots.  After ultrasound tech was done he kinda started to give me bad news and told me the baby is still measuring small and showed me the graph at where and how they were charting the growth.  I freaked out, texted Tim it was bad and held in the tears while waiting for the doctor to come tell me the news all over again.  Thankfully the doctor came in quickly and explained to me that the baby is now growing at a small rate but a consistent rate which is a good thing.  It is still measuring small but he was so reassuring that things still seem to be going well.  The cord is getting good blood flow and the baby is being perfused well.  He also told me his son was below the wanted 10% range the entire pregnancy and turned out just fine.  So that being said I felt a little more comfortable and the tears started to reabsorb.  I composed myself and called Tim back since now I had him extremely worried and explained to him what the doctor told me.  We got some cute shots of the little one in there and I pray every night and everyday for the growth of our baby and that it would be heathy and strong.


So is this amazing or what?  I am so excited we are getting our ultrasounds done at Rex because our insurance in covering all these amazing 4D ultrasounds.  That is the sweet little one growing inside me. So cool to see.

This is the same picture as above but in the natural color.  Ah I am in love!!!!!

And this is what baby was doing the whole time.  Holding it's little arm over it's face trying to sleep and not be bothered.  I had to keep rolling from side to side because it was lodged so far down the tech couldn't get to the little bean!!

 A little side shot from our 20 week ultrasound in October.  I just love seeing the little one.

Pregnancy This Time Around

Pregnancy this time around is different.  Different in many ways but still the same in some.  And because of that everyone is convinced that I am having a little girl.  But deep down I feel it is a boy?  I don't know why, if it is because I am telling myself that, or if I just know?  Anyway this is what life has been like for baby #2 and me for the past 16 weeks:)

1.  I crave salt.  I want anything and everything salty.  Chips, salsa, hummus, crackers.  Sweets sound awful.  Nothing sweet sounds appealing.

2.  I was sick this time around:(  We got back from Montana and it hit me.  I laid on couch all summer long feeling nauseous sometimes just in the morning sometimes throughout the day.  I never threw up or felt extremely awful but just to be nauseated everyday is exhausting.

3.  I have not gained that much weight yet!!  With Jonah I put the pounds on fast.  This time I have tried to be a little more careful about what I eat and for some reason didn't gain too quickly.

4.  I have such awful acne.  I had clear complexion pretty much the entire time I was prego with Jonah.  Now my face looks like a pizza.  I hate it, I'm self conscious about it, but what do you do?

5.  I have been extremely emotional. I cry at commercials, stories, blogs, movies, radio broadcastings.  It may be a happy story or a sad one, but either way I am crying.  I don't think I shed one tear while pregnant with Jonah:)

6.  I nap a lot when Jonah does.  I guess I didn't really get the opportunity to nap while pregnant with Jonah because I still working full time.  But now I am taking full advantage of those wonderful afternoon naps.  Keeping up with a 13 month old active little boy is a joy, but tiring too!:)

So that sums it up.  That is what this pregnancy has looked like so far.  I feel like it is going quick.  I am already 16 weeks today and can't believe I am almost to the half way point.  Things are going well and I loving being a mommy at home!

Oh and I had to add these photos.  This was at a friends birthday party and one is Jonah happy before we put the birthday hat on.

 And he hated the hat on!!

 And cuteness after his bath!

Erpelding Baby #2

Well I decided it was time I posted our wonderful news that baby #2 is well on the way!!  We were a little shocked when we found out we were expecting #2, but soon realized it was perfect timing and were so excited to share the news.  I had been feeling a little "off" when we were in Montana this summer visiting family.  There were times when I would be sitting in my parents living and would say out loud "I feel kind of nauseous."  From across the living I could hear my sister Laura and Julie say, as they looked up from the book or magazine that they were reading "you could be pregnant."  And I would just shrug it off.  Well after we got home from Montana I was depressed, tired, now sick a lot, and SO homesick.  All I wanted to do was go back home and be with family.

 After a couple of weeks of this Tim finally told me I needed to take a pregnancy test.  So  I went to the store, bought the cheapest one and sure enough it was positive.  But it was a faint positive.  This was NOT convincing for me because when I took a pregnancy test with Jonah it was immediately positive and VERY positive!  So I waited a whole two days:) and took another one it was faint again.  This time Tim told me I should probably wait at least a week before I took another one.  So I did and once again it was still faint.  I was still not convinced I was pregnant and was a little frustrated.  I waited another week, took another one and this time it was pretty obvious I was pregnant, ok now you are going to think I'm crazy.  I still couldn't believe that it happened this fast so I took one more test and this time Tim sat me down and told me "Honey it is positive, you seen the line, you are pregnant."  And I smiled knowing yep I'm gonna have another baby this time it was real and I was excited!  So I called the Doctor and we couldn't really figure out the exact date I was pregnant because I never got my period, but we knew it was in June sometime.  So to be sure I was far enough along they scheduled my US for August 28th.  We went in for our first ultrasound and I was 11 weeks and 5 days.  It was so fun to be so far along because we immediately called family and spread the news that Jonah was going to be a big brother!